Congratulations on your appointment. Here follows a handy list as you begin your duties in the White House.

Pinch yourself every day and repeat, "This is not a dream."

You don't have to work at the White House. You get to work at the White House. It's a real treat to work there. You are a caretaker, so take good care of it. The hours are long and demanding, but take advantage of the opportunities offered. Bring your kids in to have lunch in the White House mess on Saturdays. Bring friends and relatives to arrival ceremonies, to the Christmas parties and the Easter egg hunts, because it will all soon be over.

Once you're inside, you need to figure out a way to get out. There is never a good time to move on to another job. So start thinking about an exit plan on the first day.

You have no personal views when it comes to discussing the president's policies. You represent him 24-7 and in every detail.

One of your most important assignments is to keep the trash of government from the president. Keep the president away from intramural government debates. The Cabinet should exhaust all the options and disputes before they rise to the president.

In congressional affairs, half your time will be spent explaining the White House to Congress and the other half explaining Congress to the White House.

Leave the media and public relations to the media and public relations shop. You are likely to undercut a policy or create problems.

You are never permitted to utter the words "It will be vetoed." Only the president can say that. The closest you can come is: "The staff will recommend a veto."

The White House is a building. Buildings do not speak. Remember that everybody will take your call when you are calling from the White House. Take note of those who will accept your call after you've gone. Dial your own calls; your assistant will screen the incoming.

Return calls in the following order: The president. The vice president. Your wife. Your kids. Congressional leadership. Others as time permits -- also see next item.

If you feel you won't have time to talk when you return a call, place the call before 9 a.m., or during the lunch period or after 6 p.m. Chances are good the caller will be out, but you will get credit for returning the call. Old friends are very sensitive to having their calls ignored; get 4-by-5 cards and dash off handwritten notes.

Read as many papers as you can before 8 a.m. As President Gerald R. Ford once said, "Start with the sports pages. Chances are 50-50 the news will be good."

Be careful of your personal appearance: your wardrobe, the ego wall with photos, your language, your personal demeanor. You are now in the White House, not on the Hill or in your den.

Outside the White House gates, watch your conversations at lunch and don't display your White House pass.

All those tourists who come and go and swarm the White House are paying your salary. Treat them accordingly.

Cabinet officers outrank you. Treat them with the respect they deserve.

Be accountable for every activity you undertake. An errant e-mail will find its way into millions of homes and blogs and the gossip columns. Follow the rules of the excellent little e-mail guide, "think before sending." The most secure way to communicate is with pen and paper -- and sometimes that doesn't work, either. Don't ever put anything down on paper that you don't want to see on the front page of The Washington Post.

Go home. At 7, 8 or 9 p.m. Forget it. The work will be there in the morning.

For your grandchildren, type up (not on the computer; it's subject to a subpoena and to mass distribution) a page of your activities for the day. Use an old-fashioned typewriter, if you can find one.

There are two things to remember on the ethics side. First, codes of ethics bind the ethical. Second, if it feels good, it is probably wrong.

The writer is a former U.S. ambassador to Belgium and now a strategic adviser at DLAPiper. He spent five years in the White House under Presidents Richard M. Nixon and Gerald R. Ford